I've done everything possible to have fun and enjoy. Its my second day of freedom. And i have no idea on what to do next. haha What now? I lay in bed, listening to my ipod. I spend most of the time breezing through poetic songs from britain in my british playlist. Thats right. Thats how xde kerja i am.
So life as I know it now is care-free. Enjoying it to the fullest. Though it certainly didn't meet up to my expections. And now i just can't help but think of dotdotdot. Is she doing good? Is she all well and stuffing herself with maggi and chocolates and sardines. haha. I miss her. Every part of me does. Seems as tho things have moved on. Time, situations, move forward without her. Its something that i have adjusted to and the pain bears less, almost non-existent. I keep thinking of the good times, and thats what strikes hard the most. Everywhere i look something reminded me of her. and that sucked. Things are better for her now. And I want her to be happy with the way things are. Well, 10% of me la. The other 90% begs to hear her voice again. :(
I miss her kehkehkeh laugh, I miss the way tucks her hair to the side everytime she tries to think, I miss the way she stared at me, I miss her strawberry scent, I miss the way she keeps me safe, i miss the way she kept me warm, i miss the way we fight, i miss the way we piss abg azuan off, her sweet morning messages, the way she calls me Baby, the hindustan singing, the planning our dream house, the way we always reminded each other of how we met, the singing her to sleep, the building kubu;s. Thats just a fraction of what i miss. Sigh. But most of all, I miss the way She made me feel. After every date, or study group or even after a call. I'd smile for no reason. And the smile usually leads to this one theme song thats stuck in my head. For some reason, if im happy with her, this song keeps playing in my head and makes me have these thoughts of me being a musical. My own musical. Haha, and every morning as i walk to school to see her, i become like this maniac who smiled alot and salam everybody. Haha I was really happy. It was as though the world spun with me. The sun rises and sets with me. Everything was.. nice. And i havent felt this in a while. Who knows how longer I have to wait to get this back. But i still hope, in every prayer of every night, that there's something better around the corner. I just have to look for it.
As the doves say, In times of sweet disposition, Serendipitous twists of fate awaits at every turn.
RinduRinduRinduRinduRindu.
