Monday, November 16, 2009
I can't lie to myself.
As I'm trying to find reasons why I'm feeling this way, I keep telling myself, I'm nothing to her. Apasal nak terhegeh - hegeh lagi ni?
Yes, I found someone new. To ease the heartache. And hopefully to cure it away. But why do I keep listening to your favourite song? Why do I keep replaying all the good times we had together in my head? Why do I shiver knowing that you won't be here to keep me warm?
Even the hardest math equation can't beat this puzzle I'm trying to solve. Did I fall THAT hard for you?
I can't lie to myself anymore. It hurts me to say, I'm still not over you.
But when i browse through our previous conversations in msn, I realise I was always giving 70% while you were supporting with only 30%. You always needed a reason to love. Either you force me to make my hair in a way you find hot, or wear something you find hot. You didn't love me unconditionally, as i did you. Let's level with reality, If you would whisper to me those three words. I would be running back to you. Right into your soft arms. But now, I'm not gonna make it that easy. Eventhough, i need and want you every second. I need some proof. That you're love is genuine. Because mine is.
I'm not some hobo you can get to dangle in front of your ex. Be mindful of that. These past two months are the worst. And can be equivalent to the three times i was forced to leave you.
Good Luck for SPM. I know you can do it.
and so does Mr SMP who loves you very much. haha.
I hate you, so so much. But.. I love you.